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STAY MARRIED

Just after we were married, we watched a lot of our friends get divorced. It scared the hell out of me. We didn’t even have KIDS yet, and it scared me.

I am someone who believes in marriage as a societal stabilizer. I don’t care why people marry — for love, for money, for power, for a green card. Honestly, I couldn’t give a shit. Marriage is an historically political construct — even in the Bible, folks, people were marrying to transfer power from one family to the next, or to solidify ties with their kin and neighbors. They married to move money, they married to offer protection to lesser folk, they married for community safety and continuity.

And they STAYED MARRIED for the same reasons — which are all the same reasons I believe people owe it to themselves, their kids, and their larger communities to do the very best to stay married themselves.

(NO I AM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD SUBJECT YOURSELF —  OR YOUR CHILDREN —  TO EMOTIONAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE AT THE HANDS OF SOME ASS-HAT YOU HAPPEN TO BE MARRIED TO. OBVIOUSLY.)

I am just saying, if your spouse isn’t fundamentally an ass-hat, I promote doing your utmost to stay partnered, for all the reasons I’ve already stated and also because married people live longer. There’s that, too.

This isn’t easy. Even very very very religious people will tell you that marriage is hard. I am not any sort of religious. But I do work at being married.

Here’s how / why:







4 Responses to STAY MARRIED

  • Greer Inez
    August 5, 2013

    I LOVE this post! I am one that TOTALLY believes in marriage, even though I have been divorced. Even though I believe staying married (especially after kids) can be SUPER beneficial to you in so many ways, I do believe you should take your time in choosing that person wisely. Haha, as I didn’t with my first husband & got married way too young under the pressures of the lovely Southern habit of getting married NO LATER than 24-years-old. All this to say, LOVE this post! And very much agree with all that you say. Especially the do it just to live longer. hehe. Cheers to you + your family Sara Kate. I hope y’all are well. xo

    • checklistmommy
      August 5, 2013

      If I had gotten married at 24 I would have been divorced by 24 1/2. I was a hot mess at 24. Ask MrBigIdeas — that’s when we met 😉 Counting down the minutes ’till Leo. Can’t wait to see those first photos. Take care of yourself, lady!

  • Lucian
    June 18, 2013

    Just as an FYI: the ‘Can’t stop loving that man of mine’ link doesn’t have a ‘:’ after the ‘http’, and thus is broken. Fun site! Thanks.

    • checklistmommy
      June 18, 2013

      Thank you SO MUCH for the heads-up. Should be fixed now!

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Sarah Kate Levy

Once upon a time I wanted to be a novelist in NY. FOUR KIDS LATER I'm a
screenwriter in LA who blogs about parenting, partnering, and the decline of civilization / my home.

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