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THE #1 THING THIS MOM NEVER THOUGHT SHE’D SAY

2015 CHK june

I am counting down the days to the end of school.

Yep.

You heard me right.

This women right here, the one with four children who were all born way too close together, this woman who once wanted nothing more than to HAVE HER KIDS IN SCHOOL 24/7/365 AND NOT AT HOME MAKING HER NUTS …

This woman who used to say, WEEKEND? WHAT WEEKEND? WE HAD A WEEKMORE!

This woman who used to look at the long weeks of school break on the calendar and think, HOLY HELL THERE ISN’T ENOUGH WINE IN THE WOOOOOOORLD …

Would now prefer to have them all home.

All the time.

With me.

Something has happened, folks.

I’ve realized that down time isn’t the enemy.

School is the enemy.

Because here’s the thing:

When we’re not waking up for school … my kids actually sleep in.

There is obviously some flexibility in my use of the phrase “sleep in” (kind of like how “sleeps through the night” is complete bullshit) but here’s what “sleep in” means over here:

Diddy sleeps till 11 am. Gaga and Sausage make it till about 8.

And ok, sure, Pancake still wanders into my bed around 6 am, but he wanders up whispering, “Mama, cuddle me,” so I am cool with that. (FOREVER. I WILL BE COOL WITH THAT FOREVER. I AM PUTTING HIS FUTURE SPOUSE ON NOTICE RIGHT NOW: LADY, YOU ARE GONNA NEED A BED MADE FOR THREE.)

When we’re not hustling to get to school … we all read at the table.

2015 CHK kids at breakfast with the nytimes

Even the boys page through their picture books. It’s adorable.

When we’re not AT school … we’re actually ENJOYING lazy days at home.

We no longer have to muster the energy to get out of the house and go go go so the kids won’t explode.

Gaga and the boys are suddenly perfectly happy killing hours at a time at home on elaborate games of their own invention (“perfectly happy” meaning “not as much crying and violence as there used to be”).

2015 CHK kids games

Diddy sits in her room and reads and reads and reads.

EVEN I GET TO SIT AND READ SOMETIMES.

I think it may be magic, this growing up thing they’re all doing.

This is, oddly enough, a testament to the truth in that annoying thing people say when you’re a new parent battling sleep exhaustion and teething and potty training and separation anxiety (theirs, obviously) – that thing about,

THIS IS JUST A STAGE, THIS TOO WILL PASS.

Because you know what?

(Seriously, I can’t believe I’m typing this–)

THE DAYS ARE LONG.

AND THE YEARS ACTUALLY ARE SHORT.

I mean, Pancake and Sausage will be in Pre-K next Year, Gaga is entering 1st grade, and Diddy is barreling into 3rd.

The time has passed. The kids have grown.

And I don’t WANT them in school every minute.

I want to hang out with them.

I want to (gasp) TRAVEL with them.

Crazy, right?

So if you’re just starting out on this parenting thing now, and you have tiny little ones, and it is just so much WORK, and when will it ever get EASIER

I am here to promise you, it will.

Sooner than you think.

Ok, not exactly EASIER. They grow up, sure, but they grow right into new problems, new crises, new chaos you have to manage.

So if not easier, then, it will at least get DIFFERENT.

It will become a different kind of UNMANAGEABLE.

And you will MANAGE IT.

Because that’s what parents do.

I’m just here to promise you:

In a couple of years, most of that CONSTANT MANAGEMENT is going to get REALLY REALLY FUN.







Sarah Kate Levy

Once upon a time I wanted to be a novelist in NY. FOUR KIDS LATER I'm a
screenwriter in LA who blogs about parenting, partnering, and the decline of civilization / my home.

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