I am COMPLETELY pro Tom Petty, however.
(image via http://data6.blog.de)
Diddy is one girly-girly-girly-girl. Despite my best efforts to dress her in neutrals and blues and green, from the moment she could point/scream, she has been all pink, pink, pink.
Sequins, too.
(OK: so she’s a girly-girl with a dash of drag queen fabulous thrown in.)
And she likes to amass THINGS. She gets this from her Grandmere Checklist, who got it from HER mom. Those THINGS have to be part of a COLLECTION, which is an attitude she gets from MrBigIdeas. (No, I am not shitting on our collections, honey. I love our collections. I’m just pointing out that this is slightly more you, than me.)
Anyway:
My girly consumerist collector is EXACTLY the sort of child that the marketers at American Girl dream about. Given her druthers, she would own every single American Girl item available for sale.
Unfortunately for her, I just can not for even one second justify buying my 5 year-old daughter a doll that costs $105 or more. I just can’t do it. Can not can not can not.
Not because it’s just ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a doll she is a) expected to use/batter and b) will surely tire of LONG before I am satisfied by it’s cost-per-use, but because I am trying to teach my kids how to use money responsibly, how to save, how to comparison shop.
I’ve written about all that before.
So, for many months – slightly over a year, in fact – I was able to substitute the Target version, called Our Generation Dolls, for what seems to be, among Diddy’s friends, the de riguer American Girl (or two, or three, or six).
The Target version retail for about a quarter the price of the real thing.
They’re so close to the real thing, in fact, that I wouldn’t be surprised if they are manufactured by the same company. (Just saying. Have literally no proof, and can’t find any.)
I bought Diddy her first Our Generation Doll for Chanukah last year. She quickly became obsessed with collecting more of these dolls, which she called American Girls (I didn’t disabuse her of this, by the way).
Every time we went to Target she wanted a new one.
I am not that Mom. My kids don’t walk out of a shampoo-and-toilet-paper-run with big bags of kid swag. They just don’t.
However, Diddy’s DEEP DEEP DESIRE for more Our Generation dolls became a focus of our weekly allowance talks, and she managed to save up, over the course of a year, for four more dolls.
I was really proud of her. Life was good.
Then, early in the summer, a friend of hers pointed out the American Girl store at the Grove – and made very clear to Diddy that HER dolls were not QUITE the same thing.
Diddy became OBSESSED with visiting that store.
I became OBSESSED with holding my ground and
NOT.
BUYING.
A $105 DOLL.
So I decided to take Diddy comparison shopping. One day when we had a little time to kill we grabbed a coffee and chocolate milk at the Farmer’s Market and I brought Diddy with me to Anthropologie, while I looked for a dress. The deal was, if she behaved, we’d go check out American Girl.
I made a big show of not buying a dress I really liked because I wanted to keep shopping at other stores, so I could see what else was there, and if there were any dresses I liked that were less expensive.
Then we went to American Girl.
Before we stepped inside, I told Diddy this was an EXPERIENCE DAY, not a GIFT DAY.
Then we crossed the threshold together, and angels sang. I mean, seriously, they’ve got it going on in there. Stacks of dolls. Accessories for miles. Cool little dioramas everywhere to show you how YOUR life with YOUR VAST COLLECTION of American Girls could be. I mean, the dolls are seriously styled in a way I could only DREAM to be.
We did not go upstairs. Lord help me if she’d seen the restaurant, or the salon, or whatever it is every other kid in LA seems to visit weekly.
Regardless, my kid was over the moon.
Then I showed her how much the doll she wanted cost.
Her eyes got really huge. “A hundred dollars?”
She was shocked. SCORE ONE FOR MOMMY!
“How much are the Target dolls?”
“The one you want right now is $29.”
I nearly died of pride. We walked around the store together, checking out the various accessories, most of them priced around the same as an actual Our Generation DOLL, and decided that all those accessories would be fine for Diddy’s dolls – the clothes would fit, the instruments and pets and camping accouterment would be properly scaled.
“Mom,” Diddy said. “I’ve got a good plan. How about I keep collecting Our Generation dolls, and if I want, I can save up for stuff for my dolls they sell here?”
That, I said, was an excellent plan.
I then tried to explain to Diddy that what she had just done was called a reconnaissance trip.
She couldn’t have cared less. Still, the point was made, and we continue to make that point as often as we can – maybe we should get the gold shoes WITHOUT the sequins, because the sequins just fall off, and hey, the ones without the sequins COST LESS too! Ooh, look, Trader Joe’s Os cost LESS than Cheerios! We like Joe’s Os …
That said:
You know the irony of all this? With the holidays coming up again, and Diddy turning six in January. I can’t stop thinking about the American Girl store.
- Do I fold, and buy her one special doll for her birthday? I do strongly believe that the best gifts are things you can’t/won’t buy yourself …
- Do I go completely nuts, and take her and that doll for TEA? Because we all know how I feel about the value of an experience …
- Or do I follow the program, and just surprise her with a ton of American Girl swag for her Our Generation dolls? This, at least, would keep the American Girl Pandora box pretty firmly closed ..
I’d be delighted if you guys would weigh in, please. Believe it or not, I am truly truly torn.
Don’t buy her an AG doll; it will ruin her love for her current dolls because they won’t be as “special” anymore.
DO take her for tea with her doll; that’s a *huge* experience. Maybe throw in a salon visit at the AG store for your girl and her doll.
DO surprise her with a little Christmas stuffer of “accessories” from AG for her current dolls. Or buy a bunch and give them out to her randomly throughout the year; after all, God gives us grace that is undeserved, so I think it is good to model undeserved goodness and grace sometimes too.
thanks for the advice! hmm. interesting thought — do you think they let you bring fake dolls to the AG store for services? that would be a great half-way …
Definitely agree with the above comment! Don’t buy an AG doll. And definitely go for tea and the salon because life is truly about the experiences, not the stuff they tire of after a few plays. Not sure if you can bring in the fake dolls .., but I’m sure a “creative/do-it-yourself” tea party with mom and her dolls can be done at a local park or place she loves to go.
P.S. way to go Diddy … And I am tucking this entry away, to refer back to, when my now two year old starts to covet $100 dolls or any other over priced toy!!
I say you do whatever you want. I have one daughter, and this time of dolls and Make believe is fleeting. If its something she really wants, and you want to get it for her, I say go for it! We are not made of money. Our daughter is 5.5 currently. Last year for her 5th she and I crashed at a friends apt in Brooklyn and went to the AG store in NYC. It was a super special trip:) keep in mind, she has never had a birthday party with all of her/our friends. The money people spend on parties etc. can be insane, we knew she wanted a doll and prefaced it with, “there will be no party”. Essentially it was her choice and she was happy with it. When her grandparents asked what she wanted for her bday I requested a gift card. We payed for the doll and the extra money from the gparents went toward any extras:). Now I buy all generic accessories for the doll;). In fact, just yesterday found a tiny mask and cape for roughly 2.50 at Walmart! Voila! “Corinne” the doll has a fun Halloween costume:). Woot! And YES you can take any doll to the AG dining room! In fact, if you don’t have anything they have dolls to borrow:). Call with questions, they were helpful when I planned our surprise trip:). Good luck with your decision! Keep us posted!!
Laura that is SUPER helpful. Thank you!
I’m just wondering why the AG dolls are so expensive … is it because they are NOT made by 7-year olds in China? Because I’d pay more for a toy that I knew was ethically manufactured. It could lead to a discussion about why we’ll only own one AG doll vs. 6 or 7 cheaper dolls … we have discussions like that with our kids all the time.
But, if this isn’t the case, don’t buy the AG doll, do buy some accessories and go for tea somewhere way more interesting than a toy store – like high tea at a hotel of something! Just a thought …
Great question. I think I’ll go do some digging …
I’m planning to buy my daughter a My Twinn doll (a doll made to look like your child) when she’s 7 or 8. They’re more expensive than an AG doll *Hangs head in shame* I have one from when I was younger and I think it’s a really neat keepsake. You know, as long as the child doesn’t destroy it…
My siblings and I bought my mom a My Twinn doll that was made to look like her mother as a child (her mom died when my mom was 14). She cried. And then showed it to her siblings and dad. They cried too. Best purchase ever.
This has been a huge issue in my family. My in-laws are AG crazy and have sent me 2yo and 5yo multiple dolls and strollers and accessories and anything else you can think of. YES! My 2 YEAR OLD. It is a giant waste of money and there are so many other things they could use/want. I would much rather put the money toward annual passes to Knott’s or a water park or a museum. We have asked several times to no avail. I would NOT get her an AG doll. I think the Tea and some swag would be great.
I would get her one special doll, if she can take care of it. I still have mine and plan on passing them on to my daughter. You can send them to the doll “hospital” for repair. Also, you can NOT take non-American Girl dolls to the salon. They won’t work on them because of liability issues or something.
I love my American Girl doll. I got her for Christmas when I was six and we were literally inseparable. I knew how special she was so I took care of her, and played with her long after it was normal for me to play with dolls. The awesome thing about AG dolls is they come with a history. I know so much more about 1904 than I would have otherwise. In fact, it drove me to my love of history. By seven I had read every AG book available and felt connected to girls of other times and cultures who were still just like me.
I say go for the AG!
I think you would be surprised at how well a young kid can take care of things that are special. My mom got me one of the AG dolls that looks like you when I was 7. This was back when there were only catalogs and no AG stores. I would pour over the catalog every time it came, circling things I liked. I read every AG book ever written. It was my helped begin my obsession with historical fiction (along with Laura Ingalls).
I took precious care of that doll. I brushed her hair gently, tried not to get any of her clothes dirty, and didn’t want to take her anywhere for fear I would forget her! Granted I was 7, not 5, but that was one of the most special Christmas gifts I ever got (and the only thing I got that year). The doll came from “Santa” but once I figured out it came from my mom and dad, later on, it was even more of a treasure.
Now its neatly packed in a box, with accessories for my own kids.
Of course, at the same time there were few, if any, alternatives for that size and type of doll when I was 7. So, maybe it would have been different if there were Target dolls for a quarter of the price?
Thanks for the great discussion. My girl is 3, and I’ve been mulling over the same issues of AG vs. Target version and teaching $$ values. Here is an idea I have considered: buying a used AG doll on E-bay. Less expensive, plus I like the “green” aspect of re-using dolls that someone no longer wants. Plus then you could take them to the fancy-schmancy AG salon.
I would stick to your guns. You’ve taught her a priceless lesson about finances. Some fun AG accessories for her current dolls would be appreciated and would keep you firm in your position. You could hold your own doll tea party at home or at a “real” restraunt.
i am not a mom, in fact i am a 12 year old girl, but i do have some experience. you cant really undo what has already been done, but maybe you can apply this to you next little girl. if she is careless, dont buy her one. in fact dont buy her any imitation 18 inch doll. buy her a new barbie or moxie girl, or some smaller doll. if she treats that well, then sure take the plunge. if she takes good care of her things, then buy her one. the reason i say dont buy her any 18 inch dolls, is because either 1. she will forget about the old one and only lke the new one. 2. will not play with the new one and only the old one. how do i know this? i babysat for 4 girls. they all had 18inch dolls, and one of them had 2 ag dolls, and cherished them greatly. another had 5 target OG dolls and treated them like dogs. she said she was waiting on a real doll. another had cut her AG moore brand dolls hair b/c it was too frizzy and was also waiting on a real doll. another had 1 ag doll and used to have a target OG doll and hated the OG doll because she had a real doll now. my experience.
It’s interesting how we view the $100 AG doll as being the real deal and the OG doll as a lesser imposter. I would place more value on the AG if it were not a Mattel company and made anywhere but Asia. Quality porcelain dolls used to come from Germany and now porcelain has little value because we covet vinyl. Mattel has marketed their product well. Ironically, in the historical time period that AG uses for their stories, most girls had one doll that was well loved. It was cherished, but it’s intent was for play and not the “collectible” that is the AG culture. There are many used AG’s on ebay selling for at least $70 and upwards of $200 for something that is mass produced in China! I fail to see how they are special. On my desk at the moment are 4 OG dolls purchased off of ebay that are in near mint condition so it seems they have not seen much action. Not wanted nor loved because they aren’t special? We have become a society of sameness where we eat the same fast food, shop at the same Walmarts and Targets and wear the same clothes and shoes. Any thrift store bears witness to how little value our common goods have.
So, I would hope that you not buy the AG doll and encourage your child to seek out goods that are of high quality and have unique intrinsic value as she is a unique individual worthy of special treasure.
I like the Jess Brown rag dolls but they’re $180 a pop which is pretty steep even for a handmade doll from Petaluma and well, they pretty much all look the same. ):
If you want to get her the doll, get her the doll. I am 22 and have had my Samantha AG since the Christmas I was 6. I got her after repeatedly being told that AG dolls were too expensive (although in ’96 I think they were $80 not $105) but that I could get the accessories for my other dolls. I cannot even tell you how happy that doll made me – I took CRAZY good care of her . Having her did not cause me to neglect or dislike my other dolls, it just added something very special to my doll “family.” I think you have taught your daughter a valuable lesson about finance – if you buy her the AG doll, you can teach her another about valuable possessions and taking care of things that are really special. I think your treatment of the AG subject has instilled in her a sense of respect towards a really special toy that she might now have otherwise – I know I took much better care of my doll than my friends who got them right off the bat did.
However, this is obviously your family and your choice. Do what your mom intuition tells you
I have 3 girls and 3 boys. Our oldest got 1 AG doll and it was her last doll by her choice so we made it special. The next one got a Bitty Baby when she was little but it was the only doll she ever played with being between brothers, she would ride the Tonka Trucks. Our youngest is 10 and is such a girly girl but also has medical issues. We compromised. Her Papa sent money for Christmas and since he is really really sick, we wanted each kid to have something they wanted and that would be special, so she got Caroline. She was working, cleaning homes and dog doo, and setting up store with her brothers, so she was ok with not getting her until April, her birthday. She was even looking on Ebay to get one cheaper. With such a good attitude and not expecting the AG doll, we got it for her for Christmas and she just loves her. She’s gotten books to study the era more and also dollhouses and furniture books making out of whatever she can find or recycle. She watches YouTube videos to see how AG houses are made, she’s learning to sew so she can make her own clothes. We have tea parties all the time since she was 2. Because of her medical conditions, she has a hard time fitting in, but now she will be going to AG clubs. It’s easier than getting a guide dog right now. She’s a major bargain shopper, shopping goodwill and antique stores, looking at everyday items differently, through the eyes of an l8″ doll now. Shes using her creativity and and I think its ok to splurge once in awhile. It was also easier to do this since we moved across country and everything we own has been in storage for 2 years. We decided long ago that to make the doll unique would be to get clothes from farmers markets or make them ourselves, to make the furniture ourselves. If you just buy everything in those diaramas, it’s the same as everyone else and thats boring too. Anyways, that’s what we did. I hope whatever decision you make that you both keep having tea parties, put on some classical music, make some little desserts and just have fun! You can find gloves at goodwill/2nd hand stores too,.
My daughter now has two AG dolls. The Molly that my parents got for me (when I was 17, so she’s in GREAT shape) and a twin doll that her god mother was able to get at the factory sale. I could have never spent $100 on a doll for her, and I understand why my parent’s didn’t have the money until I was 17, but I do have all the books. I credit those books with my love of history and my sense of social justice. My 6 year old and I have had so many great conversations based on the things we’ve read, and it’s so relatable for her. We’ve talked about slavery, women’s suffrage, respect for other people’s religious beliefs, child labor, poverty, etc. It’s been wonderful.
I think you should take her to ag for the day and let her decide, the doll or accessories. If she decides the doll remind her that this is a special gift and she should not except these dolls often, and she has to take care of her.
Her Grandmere Checklist beat me to the punch last week! Diddy came home with Saige, a horse, an extra outfit, and an artset. She was in heaven … Points for Grandmere. I intend to blog this, eventually …