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Yes, Mom! (Or: How I Talk So My Kids Listen*)

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I live in a house full of people who don’t listen to me.

Either it’s the noise level (think four kids, high ceilings, no carpets or drapes, plus a husband who has to constantly take calls on speaker + run CNN at top volume + blast our system + turn up whatever loud loud loud video he is playing on his Mac to top volume, simultaneously) …

… or it’s the fact that two of the four kids are too young to understand much beyond “do you want Cheerios?”

… or it’s the fact that the OTHER two kids just … don’t … care.

Anyway:

Recently, I decided I’d had enough of this. I am tired of yelling incessantly up or down the stairs trying to get the kids to answer me. I am tired of running around asking “Did you hear me? Did you hear me? Did you HEAR ME ?!?” like some stressed out, way older, transgendered version of the Verizon guy. (And yes, I realize we wear similar glasses, he and I.) Continue reading “Yes, Mom! (Or: How I Talk So My Kids Listen*)” »

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EXTRA! EXTRA! MOMS PREVAIL AGAINST THE MEDIA MACHINE!

Image via timeout.com

A few weeks ago, thanks to Google (how I love thee, Google), I found out that my post “Tricky People” are the New Strangers was all over Yahoo News.

No, I don’t spend all day googling myself. I barely have time to eat breakfast or brush my teeth around here, so if I’m going to invest any time in self-stroking, well, hey, I’d rather it be the other kind.

That’s why I use Google Alerts – so that I can lie around all day …

If. Only.

Seriously, though:

Shortly after “Tricky People” went viral and started bringing in 10k hits a day, I set up a Google Alert for the phrase just so if anybody re-printed my post without crediting me I’d know about it.

I figured some newbie blogger might make that kind of error, and I’d go find her and chat with her and gently let her know the error of her ways.

Here’s what I didn’t think would happen:

THAT A MAJOR MARKET NEWS SHOW, A NATIONAL NETWORK AFFILIATE NEWSHOW, would steal my work, photograph it clearly enough that you could read my words and my kids’ names, use MY post as the hook for THEIR story, BLUR MY NAME, then go through MY links to get to Pattie Fitzgerald’s SafelyEverAfter.com, and use images from HER SITE without permission – and without credit – too. Continue reading “EXTRA! EXTRA! MOMS PREVAIL AGAINST THE MEDIA MACHINE!” »

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Guest Post! Hello, Muddah, Hello, Faddah: A Summer Camp Safety List (Apologies to Allan Sherman)

If you’ve spent any time on this site, you know I’m a HUGE fan of Pattie Fitzgerald and her business SafelyEverAfter. The seminar of hers I attended earlier this year at Diddy and Gaga’s preschool inspired my top post thus far — “Tricky People” Are the New Strangers — which led to the both of us being SURPRISE-featured on a CBSMiami story last week. (How does one get SURPRISE-featured on a CBS news story? I will be blogging about that soon. It was a trip-and-half, the kind of trip that starts REALLY REALLY BAD … and ends with the forces of right, and good, and decent, and honest, and honestly, REALLY ANGRY, somehow winning the day. How’s that to keep you coming back for more?)

Anyway: I love Pattie. So I’m thrilled to be hosting her here today. Read on, and rest easy that your kids are going to have the incredible summer camp experience YOU deserve. (Oh, happy, quiet, empty house … I DREAM of my kids getting big enough to leave me alone in my happy, quiet, empty house for a few weeks!)

Summer Camp!  Kids love it, so do parents.  It’s practically a rite of passage!

Most camps are safe and the experiences can create a lifetime of wonderful memories for our kids.  But, before packing everyone up for the summer, take a few minutes to review our safety checklist with helpful parent tips so that camp can be the fun and exciting experience it should be for everyone.

1. Find out if the camp is accredited by the ACA – American Camp Association.

While it isn’t a foolproof guarantee, it shows that the camp takes its responsibilities seriously and must follow certain guidelines and regulations regarding health and safety.  If a camp makes lots of excuses why they aren’t certified, find another camp.

2. Check out the staff.   It’s ok to ask:

  • Who are the counselors (high school or college students, hired hands?)
  • What’s their training and supervision policies?
  • How are they screened, background checked,  are they fingerprinted? (That’s the only way to ensure that there isn’t a registered sex offender working there.  The camp should do more than just calling someone’s references.)

3. What’s the camper to counselor ratio?

There should be at least 2 counselors to every group, particularly for very young age groups.

4. Sleep-away camp?  Who’s sleeping where?

Are they in bunks, tents, sleeping bags, cabins?  How many counselors are assigned to each cabin?  And what’s the policy if a child needs to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?

5. How are the age groups separated?

Much older campers shouldn’t have a lot of unsupervised time around much younger campers.

6. Set up the “safe grownup list” ahead of time with your child.

Who else can they go to if they feel uncomfortable or get an “uh-oh feeling” from anyone there, including another child?

7. Have a conversation with your child ahead of time …

… and review some basic personal safety concepts including “no private parts games” and “no secrets if something makes them feel yucky.” Let your child know they are the BOSS OF THEIR BODY, whether they are 5 or 13.

8. Give your child a couple of strong “scripted lines” to help them be assertive.

For example, “That’s NOT Ok.”.  “Stop touching me.”  “I said NO!”

With a little “safety net” in place, your campers can have an awesome time this summer.

Pattie Fitzgerald is the founder of Safely Ever After, Inc. and is recognized as a leading expert in the field of child safety and sexual abuse prevention education. A former preschool teacher, Pattie is certified as a Safety Educator and Child Visitation Monitor, and has worked tirelessly as a child advocate for over ten years. Admired for her positive approach, Pattie’s unique brand of “Safe-Smarts curriculum” is used in schools throughout the United States.  She is the author of two children’s books, “NO Trespassing – This Is MY Body!” and “Super-Duper Safety”.  Pattie has been featured on Good Morning America, CNN Headline News, CNBC, and MSNBC.   www.safelyeverafter.com

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Tricky People Are the New Strangers

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