Our First Tooth Fairy (A Touch Too Soon)

Dear Tooth Fairy I Lost A Tooth Love <Diddy>

So, as you know if you’ve been following me on Twitter, FB, or Pinterest, Diddy had a loose tooth.

Tuesday, she finally lost it, thanks to tumbling off the monkey-bars and smacking her face on the fake grass of the Pre-K playground.

Poor teacher was in a panic — apparently Diddy didn’t mention the tooth was loose to begin with. By the time they called me, Diddy was fine enough to have already written a letter to the Tooth Fairy, and drawn her a picture (see above).

But she wanted to get picked up, regardless, so I ran down to get her and we went for a tea party and did a few errands and picked up celebratory lost-tooth-cupcakes before returning to school to get Gaga.

Throughout this, she kept flipping out about how “weird” it felt to have a hole in her mouth, and how she wished she hadn’t lost the tooth yet because it felt so “weird,” and how she hoped the new tooth grew back soon because it felt so “weird,” and how she wished she’d never tried to do a flip-over on the monkey bars, like all her friends were doing, because if she hadn’t done it, she wouldn’t have lost the tooth — which now felt so “weird.”

The going on-and-on-and-on about “weird” was a bit aggravating, but I will say that I managed to get past that pretty quickly when I realized I now have a built-in, way-better, real-life-applicable version of the “If your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it to?” in our little monkey-bar drama.


Of course, then I went into a slight panic because spending the entire afternoon with my kid when she was supposed to be in school meant I had no time to do or get ANY OF THE STUFF I had wanted to do or get for her as her resident Tooth Fairy.

For instance:

I never bought that AWESOME CHRONICLE BOOKS The World’s Smallest Post Service that I meant to order so I could leave a fancy fairy-sized note for her, complete with fairy-postage.


I mean seriously, how cute is that?

And I didn’t get to the bank for silver dollars.

And I never got to a jeweler to pick up a little charm bracelet, as one of our FB page ‘Listers suggested — which I thought was such a cute thought.

So here’s what our resident Tooth Fairy ended up doing instead:

1. She wrote Diddy a note on a postcard with a bad-ass angel on the front (I figured a little Jewish kid wouldn’t notice the halo for the flash of the wings wings wings).

This note was, of course, written by STRONGIA FEARLESSNESSY, Diddy’s personal brave, adventurous, and cool tooth fairy, who only visits brave, adventurous, and cool little girls.

I had to push the brave and adventurous thing to counter-act the whole “I wish I’d never gone on the monkey-bars thing” she’d been weeping about all day.

Sure, I just said I can’t wait to use MONKEY-BAR GATE someday in a suitable naggy-Mom situation, but for now I’m pushing the “yeah, well, you fell, sure, but then you got back up and dusted yourself off” angle, because RESILIENCE is a big theme for the Checklist Family.

And if you’ve been reading this blog for a little while, you know that resilience and BRAVERY and ADVENTUROUSNESS are things I talk to Diddy about A LOT. She is naturally a pretty cautious kid, which is a good thing, sure — but she’s also TINY and just at her 5-year well-kid check-up FINALLY made it on to the growth charts (3%! WOO-HOO) and I fear that my tiny itsy bitsy Diddy needs to work a little harder in the BALLS DEPARTMENT so she doesn’t get run-over by less cautious people her whole adorable girl-y life.

Because man, is Diddy girly-girl through and through. (And yes, I get that there is a debate about innate girliness versus socialized girliness. Regardless of where she gets it, though, she got it, and she got it good.)

2. She left Diddy TWO dollars, TWO quarters, TWO dimes, TWO nickels, and TWO pennies — totalling $2.82 — because Diddy lost a TOOTH. Get it?

 I was pretty pleased with myself over that one. First off, because my pals on FB seemed to be saying the going rate was $5 per tooth — and I have way too many kids — and they have WAY too many teeth — for me to get stuck starting with THAT.

Also, Diddy is young enough to think that a whole $2.82 that she can put straight into her spending money without having to divide it three ways like she does with her allowance is an enormous amount of money compared to the usual $1.70 that finds it’s way into her purse.

All this said:

DAMN YOU OTHER PRE-SCHOOL PARENTS! Apparently you leave your kids Lego sets and blankies and new clothes. As Diddy informed me this morning when she wondered why Strongia had only brought her cash.


Luckily for me, last night Diddy insisted on reading Silverlicious before bed, which is about when Pinkalicious loses her first tooth, and the Tooth Fairy is too busy to show up so an Easter Rabbit, a Cupid, and an Elf come over the course of three nights instead, and Pinkalicious is your basic ungrateful kid and keeps writing passive-aggressive than-yous for treats she hates until finally she decides to act grateful, as a result of which, her Tooth Fairy finally ponies up.

So the whole YOU GET WHAT YOU GET lesson had already been learned, and Diddy was sufficiently able to get past her disappointment in her cash-only haul to write a THANK YOU to her Tooth Fairy:

Dear Tooth Fairy Thank Your For To (sic) Dallor (sic) And For the Coins You Are Welcome To Visit Me Any Time Love, <Diddy>

Granted — that might have been motivated by the fact that:

3. Strongia also left her a PHOTO of her fairy-self, visiting Diddy last night!

Yep — since I posted about Capture The Magic on FB last week, and Tweeted it, I figured I ought to try the service for myself last night. Tools were easy and intuitive and the whole process took less than ten minutes. Could I have done it myself, without spending the money, with free tools online? Probably. But I didn’t have the time to mess with that last night, so I paid $9.95 for one photo (plus credit towards two more), instead.

And for the look on Diddy’s face when she saw that photo, it was COMPLETELY WORTH EVERY PENNY.

I’d print the photo here, but Diddy was sleeping rather willy-nilly last night due to the fact that the hole in her mouth made sucking on her fingers like she usually does feel “weird,” so she wasn’t doing it, and was strewn across the bed in all sorts of “how can I get comfy enough to sleep?” ways that I don’t feel great about splashing all over the inter-web.

So here’s the photo that’s up on Pinterest, instead:


Oh — yeah! And that’s the other GREAT THING that came out of this! Couple more days of “weird” and she’ll probably break herself of the finger sucking! Hallelujah! I was beginning to wonder how the hell we were going to break THAT habit before having it result in a decade of uncomfortable and tortuous orthodonture devices like the ones I wore following my seven or eight years with my thumb in my mouth …

Anyone else ever have the sort of bite-plate that you had to stretch ever-wider each week by turning a key? I still have flashbacks.

So yeah, I know, it’s slightly ironic that lately I’ve been wondering about doing Invisalign. (Note to my twelve-year-old self: YOU SHOULD HAVE WORN YOUR RETAINER!) Anyway: Invisalign. Thoughts?

I'm Just Looking for Some Grown-Ups to Talk To ...

Categories: Diddy and Preschool.

2 Responses to Our First Tooth Fairy (A Touch Too Soon)

  • Melynda
    March 16, 2012

    Love your creativity with the fairy – all aspects. Sounds like the bar is being set pretty high and my kid doesn’t even have teeth yet! What is it going to be by the time he’s 5?! And… invisalign… my mom just completed her stint with them and could not be happier. Running joke in the family (started by my dad) is that my 55 year old mom is prepping to go back on the market.

    • checklistmommy
      March 17, 2012

      Wonder if anyone would take me and the four kids if I ever went back on the market 😉

Sarah Kate Levy

Once upon a time I wanted to be a novelist in NY. FOUR KIDS LATER I'm a
screenwriter in LA who blogs about parenting, partnering, and the decline of civilization / my home.

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